Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Some days I wonder, why can't life be a little easier!!!

I wonder why...

Why do mother's hearts ache for their children when they know they are doing what is right?

Why do children grow up so fast and not want to snuggle like they once used to?

Why can't a parent when they have given everything to show their love for their children still feel like the child doesn't see it?

Why do boys have to leave for a wonderful mission to still have their mother long each and every day to hold her son again?

Why can't we see the whole picture and know how it will all play out?

Why do we have to have our closest friends move away or us move away when they have so deeply touched our soul and we miss them always?

Why can't we understand that we each are trying to help each other and never would on purpose hurt others?

Why when we pray does it seem like that usually we don't get the answer to prayers that we want?

Why can't we express our deepest love in a way that is best understandable?

I sometimes wonder, why can't life just be easier, even though I know the reasons.


Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Just Get Back Up

This is the story of MY life.

I had an experience last week that I just need to write about because some day it might just help my kids to hear this story.

It was fast and testimony meeting at church and the spirit just kept telling me to get up and bear my testimony, but I kept avoiding it. It is hard for me to get up but I finally gave in. I started to walk up the aisle as my heart was pounding and all of a sudden I realized that my whole leg was asleep and I figured just keep walking it will shake out. Well, needless to say it didn't.

All of a sudden I went flying through the air. I have always imagined if I fell that I would not remember anything but that wasn't the case. I remember seeing everything going flying as I flew through the air. It was scary. Before I knew it I realized that I was on the floor and that I hadn't broken anything that I could tell.

I remember thinking to myself what do I do now. I just have made a fool of myself and the whole bishopric looked like they were going to have a heart attack. Well, I put on a fake smile and walked the rest of the way up to the pulpit and bore my testimony. The first thing I said was "if you were asleep you aren't now". I can't believe after all of that I was able to get up and bear my testimony. How humiliating, how humbling!!!!

When I sat down, my husband asked me if I broke anything. I replied, " just my pride." It was a very hard day for me. I just kept thinking about what I fool I had made of myself. I know that I am a little crazy but to have everyone know it now, was not what I had in mind.

I hope that I can always remember and teach my children that when you fall and you will so many times, you need to get up and do your best and make the best of the situation. As a little girl, this is one of the things I remember most about what my dad taught me was that you can't just stay down. You HAVE TO GET BACK UP!!! This summer has been a very, very hard one on me and maybe it is for me that I had this happen, so I can remember I just need to not give up but get back UP!!!!